Sunday, March 6, 2011

1915-2011

Jane here, wondering how to begin this post. My dear Nan, Margaret McNulty or Nanny Mamulty according to our boys, died one week ago today.

Nan moved in with us when I was 14 years old. Having your grandmother on site has the obvious perks (baked goods!), but I can't explain all the little things that living with an elder can give you: opportunities to help each other, to teach each other, to laugh with each other, etc, etc, etc.

She had genuine care and concern for us without ever being nosy or over-bearing. She would be happy to talk about anything you liked, but would never seek information or judge. She didn't even really give advice. She simply served as an open ear, a smiling nod, and would offer a few words that could help lead you to your own decision. I recall standing with her about 7 years ago in her kitchenette making something (I really wish I could recall what) and she said: "Josh has been hanging around here for quite a while..." That was probably the most she ever inquired about my personal life. It invited me to dish, but it didn't require information. Of course I dished., and we were engaged a few months later. During the final few weeks of our 6-month engagement, Nan was hospitalized for her chronic lung problems. When her doctor was talking about her expected gradual recovery, she said: "Well, I have a wedding to go to in July." She made it out of hospital and danced at our wedding.

Isaac and Simon loved their "Nanny Mamulty." They loved going for rides on her walker, playing with her telephone, and just chatting with her. I think the could always feel how genuine she was and how much she loved them.


As I sat in my parents living room last night, surrounded by aunts, uncles, and cousins celebrating Nan's life over food and drink (the Irish Wake, as we always to call it), I was struck with gratitude. I am so thankful for the memories I have shared with my family, the love they have shown me, and the things I have learned from them. As corny as it sounds, I sat there realizing that everyone was there as a result of Nanny and Grampy, both as individuals and as couple. We are here because of the family they started, and we have the relationships that we do because of the values they instilled in the generations that followed them. I hope that Josh and I can leave behind us a similar family that can love and support each other, and one that would make Nanny and Grampy proud.


Here is some of our clan, this photo taken at Nan's 95th birthday celebrations this past October (missing a couple of grand-children and all the great-grandchildren).



Loving                Loved                   Lovely

...my Dad summed up Nan simply and beautifully with those three words on card for a floral arrangement. (Maybe he missed his calling to Hallmark) Overshadowing everything she ever gave us or taught us, she loved us. She really loved us. Constantly. Unconditionally. Without expectations. And we loved her.




This reading (Micah 6:6-8) was part of her funeral mass, and it spoke to how she chose to live her life.

What shall I bring the Lord, the God of Heaven, when I come to worship him? Shall I bring the best calves to burn as offerings to him? Will the Lord be pleased if i bring him thousands of sheep or endless streams of olive oil? Shall I offer him my first born child to pay for my sins? No, the Lord has told us what is good. What he requires of us is this: to do what is just, to show constant love, and to live in humble fellowship with our God.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yyou made me cry:)
love E
oh, and I'm downloading the pics from the baptism. I will send them to you shortly. It's obvious I'm no Joanie... but I tried to get all the heads etc in the pics.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely beautiful Jane...and you made me cry too :) It is obvious that your Nan was an absolutely beautiful woman inside and out and that you are like her in many ways. Sending you hugs and thinking of you & your family.

Heather K.

Jo said...

Really beautiful Jane. Having recently experienced several deaths in the past weeks your words resonate even more. Thanks for sharing. xoxo